Porcelain Soul - The Human Years
by TeamCarlisleEsme
Summary: "It was like meeting a fairy tale - Snow White in the flesh." Esme Anne Platt Evenson Cullen had a long life of love, heartbreak and betrayal before she was turned into a vampire.
1. The Doctor

Esme Ann Platt's Point Of View

Chapter One

- The Doctor -

_1911_

I glanced behind me at my room one last time before I forced the window up and swung one leg out of it.

I smiled to myself thinking how mother and father would react if they caught me climbing out of a window with my skirt halfway up my leg. I swung the other leg over and planted them both firmly on the ground. I took off my shoes and dropped them back through the window.

I love the feeling of the grass beneath my feet and I smiled to myself as I wiggled my toes. I dashed from the house picking up the skirt of my cream dress so it would be easier to run. I fled from the place where I have to behave 'like a young lady should' as my mother would have put it. I smiled as I let down my long caramel locks so they could blow in the wind.

I knew if I was caught by mother I would never hear the end of it, and gosh if father caught me! Now that would be a lecture. Yet somehow that made it all the more exciting.

I smiled widely stretching out my arms as I ran. I knew it was childish and unladylike to do this, but I didn't care.

I hated that I had to act a certain way, be a certain person. I hated that no one would listen to me, or really take an interest in me. It was like to them I wasn't worth it. When I'm outside like this none of it matters, I can just enjoy the world around me. The green grass, beautiful blue sky and of course the colour of the flowers that I could only dream about having paint the colour of.

I spotted the tree where I usually sit. It's also where I stash my sketch book, pencils and whatever book I'm reading at the time.

I slowed to a walk and grabbed hold of one of the branches, hoisting myself up. From here I could see the house, and I'd be able to see if mother or father were looking for me. I put my foot on one of the lower braches, not putting my full weight onto it before I was sure it was stable. My skirt got caught on the bark on the tree and I pulled on it but it wouldn't budge. I pulled harder and it ripped a little but came loose. I'd have to sue that up later before mother noticed.

As I kept climbing I had to kick my skirt out of the way a couple of times. I paused on one of the branches about halfway up the tree to look over at the house. It was getting late and I knew if I saw father go into the house I would have to run back to get through the window before mother came to get me for dinner. I couldn't see him yet. The sun was going down and the golden light made the tree I was in enchanting.

Still standing on the branch I leant back against the trunk of the tree and closed my eyes for a moment, just listening and enjoying the feel of being free.

I eventually opened my eyes and turned back around to climb a little higher. "Esme!" my mother's voice called. "Shoot," I mumbled under my breath as I missed the branch and slipped, letting out a slight squeal.

I hit the ground with a crack and gasped as I clutched my leg. "Esme?!" it was my father calling now and I was pretty sure that my leg was broken. There was no avoiding the lecture that was surely coming.

"Father!" I called back as much as it pained me to give myself away, I had no other choice. Father ran towards me, "Esme what are you doing out here on the ground?" he called out as he approached me. "I fell from the tree, I think my leg is broken," I was still clutching it.

"Esme a women especially of your age should not be climbing trees," he scolded. "Yes father," it was easier to agree with him no matter how much what he said irritated me.

"Do you have any idea how irresponsible and childish your actions are?" he asked. "Yes father." I moved my leg a little and winced.

"Come on, stand up," he said. "I don't think I can," I told him. He mumbled something about childish and unladylike before helping me stand up.

As I thought my leg didn't want to cooperate and I couldn't stand without leaning on my father for support. He put my arm around his shoulder and we walked back to the house like that.

Every couple of minutes, father would mumble something about how stupid my actions were, but I couldn't properly concentrate on him, my leg was killing me.

"Esme!" my mother's voice scolded when we reached the house, "I can't believe you would do something so reckless and unladylike, you should be ashamed of your actions." I winced as father helped me put my leg up on the couch. "Yes mother," I replied my voice strained from the pain as she put a pillow under my foot.

"What will people think when they find out how you have injured yourself! No one will want their boy to marry you! You really need to grow up Esme," the lecture continued. "I know mother," I replied with a sigh. She sat down on the couch next to my leg and gently touched it. I gasped and pulled it away which caused me more pain.

"The local doctor's out of town," father told us. "Well we're defiantly going to have to take her to the hospital," mother replied. "I'll get the horses," father grumbled grabbing his coat off the rack and disappearing out the door.

Mother fetched a blanket from the linen closet and took her own coat off the rack. "If you just acted the way a lady should Esme," she sighed.

My parents helped me to stand up and with my arms over their shoulders we made our way out the door. I awkwardly lifted myself into the carriage followed by mother then father. We'd have to go into town which is a fair way away because we live on the outskirts of Columbus.

Mother gave me the blanket to wrap myself up in and I gladly accepted, wrapping it around my shoulders. The day was reaching an end, the sun almost completely gone from the sky. Being outside in the open air was nice, in fact I could almost say that the whole experience was nice besides fathers mumbling and the fact that every time we went over a bump my leg was jostled sending a sharp pain through it.

The sun disappeared and the day entered its final stage, twilight. Every stage of the day made the world look so different.

By the time we arrived at the hospital it was late and dark. We came to a stop and I looked at the building in front of me. It wasn't very big just as I'd remembered.

I didn't visit the hospital frequently but I had been there before. Both mother and father got off before me to help me down. Together they managed to help me inside and into a seat.

I leant back and took in the room around me. We were the only people here. Just as well it wasn't a very big room. There were a few seats lining the wall next to the door where I was sitting and two rows one facing the back of the room and one facing the desk placed back to back. I guess it must get a bit busier during flu season. There was a notice board on the wall across from me covered in pamphlets.

"Miss Platt," I heard a gentle voice say from the doorway.

I turned my head to see a man, blonde hair, tall, over six foot, pale, and looked like he was in his early-twenties, mid-twenties at the most. "Yes?" I responded slightly taken aback by the doctor's presence.

"I'm Doctor Cullen," he said with a warm and genuine smile. I smiled back, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Doctor Cullen," I replied politely.

"Come on Esme," father said gesturing for me to get up. "Mr Platt please, allow me," the doctor said taking a step towards me. His voice was gentle and caring, and there was a slight accent. English?

"May I?" he asked holding his arms out as though he was going to pick me up. He was asking permission? "Of course," I told him. "Put your arms around my neck," he told me as he gently lifted me with ease, careful not to move my leg more than necessary. Defiantly however slight, an English accent.

He carried me down the hallway to his office. It was weird that I noticed it but he smelt amazing. Like pine forest and spices, and all other kinds of things which were indescribable. Like a fresh breeze.

He gently placed me on the table and I noticed his peculiar eye colour for the first time. They were like liquid gold. There was something about him, something kind and genuinely caring. Something I'd never been in the presence of before, and those peculiar eyes that were looking into mine, they held something. Compassion.

He took a step back, "Now Miss Platt, you've hurt your leg," he stated. "Please call me Esme, and yes, I think it's broken," I replied looking at the troublesome limb and moving it ever so slightly. I winced in pain.

"Try not to move it," he said and moved his hand forward as though to touch my leg but hesitated once again, "May I?" he asked. I nodded. "I'll have to lift your skirt a little to examine your leg," he told me. "That's fine," I replied giving him a reassuring smile.

He gently lifted up my skirt to the knee on my right leg. I hadn't properly looked at it while it wasn't covered by my skirt but there was defiantly something wrong with it. The way it was laying there seemed wrong.

"Tell me when it hurts," he told me and gently started pressing along the bone. I gasped when he put pressure on a part of it that must have been the break.

"Sorry," he said taking the pressure away. "Your tibia has a closed fracture. It's slightly out of place so I'll need to set it back before I can put a cast on it," he told me. "Will it hurt?" I asked. "I'm afraid so, I could give you some pain medication for it if you'd like," the doctor offered. "No it's fine thank you, I'd rather just get it over with," I replied.

"Here, take my arm and when it hurts squeeze," he told me holding out his arm. I took it gently. His arm was so cold.

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded and braced myself for the pain that was to come. "One, two, three-" I gasped and squeezed his arm as he set my leg back into its proper place. "Sorry, the worst is over," he told me looking at me with his liquid gold eyes.

I was still clutching to his arm and I knew I should let go but I didn't want to. As soon as I did I felt the absence.

"How does that feel?" he asked. "Much better," I said gratefully.

He walked over to the bench on my left side. "How did you injure yourself Esme?" he asked as he opened one of the cupboards. "I fell out of a tree," I told him feeling my cheeks heat up. Normally I wouldn't care what anyone thought of my actions, but for some reason I cared about what the doctor thought.

"And what were you doing in a tree?" he asked sounding amused. "I just wanted to get out of the house," I replied as he turned around holding items I assumed were the things he needed to put a cast on. "Why did you want to get out of the house?" he asked as he set his things down on the table.

"I don't know, I just wanted to be outside in the open, away from everything…" I trailed off looking at the doctor who was smiling. "When I'm away from the house, I just feel… free," it was nice to have someone take an interest in me for a change.

Doctor Cullen chuckled as he started wrapping cotton material around my leg, "Well no climbing trees while you've got this cast on." I sighed and the doctor laughed a little.

He was so gentle with his movements, like he was putting a bandage on a porcelain doll. Instead of concentrating on what his hands were doing I watched his face and how concentrated he looked.

His blonde hair, perfect jaw line, full lips, golden eyes. Golden eyes which were now focused on mine.

I felt my cheeks warm up again knowing I'd been caught staring. "What do you want to do?" he asked going back to his work without making a big deal over my staring although there was a smirk dancing on his lips. "

Do?" I asked confused. "With your life my dear," he elaborated. "Oh, well, you'll think it's silly but I've always wanted to be a teacher," I told him.

"I don't think it's silly at all," he replied looking at me sincerely. I smiled, "Well I've always loved children," I told him. "You want children then?" he asked as he finished up with the cotton and picked up something, I think it was plaster, and started applying it to my leg.

"Definitely, although I want to fall in love first, and not fall in love because that's who I'm told to love, I want to fall in love by myself," I told him. Doctor Cullen smiled at me, "Any man would be lucky to have you fall in love with him my dear."

His words surprised me. No one had ever said something like that to me before. "Thank you," I replied after a quiet moment.

"You don't need to thank me, I'm just telling the truth," he told me as he finished with the plaster he was wrapping around my leg.

I looked at the cast and then back at the doctor, "Thank you." He smiled, "Anytime, how does it feel?" he asked.

"Fine," I told him. "Can you move your toes for me?" Doctor Cullen asked. I wiggled them, "Yes."

"Are you in any pain?" he asked. "A little, it's bearable though," I told him. "Are you sure you wouldn't like some pain reliever?" he said concerned.

"I'm fine thank you," I told him. "Well I suggest when you get home you elevate. Make sure that you come back if you experience any increased pain or tightness from the cast that causes tingling or numbness in your toes," he said.

With some help I managed to get my leg so it was dangling from the bench. "No climbing trees," I said with a smile.

The doctor smiled but his expression changed to a serious one. He gently took my face in his hand and where he touched my skin I felt something strange, like a magnetic pull.

"Esme, one day a very lucky man is going to marry you, and you need to be in one piece for that to happen. Take care of yourself. Promise me," he said looking into my eyes. "I promise," I replied looking back at him.

He let go of my face and pushed a piece of hair behind my ear, "Good. Let's get you back to your parents. May I?" He asked waiting for permission to pick me up. "Of course," I told him and he lifted me from the bench carefully.

He carried me back to my parents and handed me off to my father. Again as I had before I missed him instantly. "Take care Esme," he told me. "I will Doctor Cullen," I replied as my father carried me out the door, breaking our eye contact.

No man, no person had ever been so kind to me, spoken so gently to me or taken so much interest in me, and perhaps no one else ever would.

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><p><em>Hope you enjoyed this! Reviews as always are appreciated as is constructive criticism.<em>_ Favourite, follow and review please :) So far the most reviews I've had on a chapter is 7 so let's try and break that record!_


	2. Introductions

Chapter Two

-Introductions-

_1917_

"Mary-Ann," I said urgently, approaching my best friend. "Yes?" she asked turning around, her baby girl resting on her hip. "Give me the baby," I said reaching out for her.

"Esme what in the world?" she asked confused as she handed over her daughter Alexis. "Father has made me dance with almost every single man at this wedding and I figure if I'm holding her they won't ask me to dance even if father brings them over," I told her holding Alexis close to my body.

Mary-Ann rolled her eyes, "Esme that's ridiculous," she told me. "Oh it's not, some of the men here are just vial," I told her. "Come on Esme you're twenty-two!" she exclaimed. "So what?" I asked bouncing Alexis on my hip. "So you're not getting any younger, it's time you settled down," she told me. I groaned, "Not you too."

"It's just I think we really need to find you a man dear. Don't you want a family?" she asked sitting down. I sighed looking down at Alexis, "Of course I do Mary-Ann, it's just that I want to fall in love on my own instead of being set up time after time with a bunch of men that want to put their hands on me before I even know them."

"So you want to meet a man on your own?" she asked. "Exactly, and I want to fall in love on my own too," I told her. "You can fall in love with someone you've been set up with," she pointed out.

"I know that I could but every man that father has picked out so far doesn't care about me at all! They look me up and down then start talking about themselves without even asking about me. I want someone who wants to know about me," I told her. "What you want Esme is a fairy tale," she told me. "So what? Do I not deserve a fairy tale?"

"Of course you do sweetheart but you have to face reality, men aren't perfect," she told me. "So I should settle for someone who doesn't care about me" I asked. "I didn't say that, I just said that men aren't perfect. You aren't going to get everything you want in one man," she told me. I sighed, "I can look for him," I told her. "You can, but you might realise too late you've thrown away good opportunities," she replied.

Alexis grabbed a lock of my hair and turned it over in her hands. I watched her and smiled, "Everything used to be so simple," I said sadly. "I know it did," she agreed.

I remembered how Mary-Ann and I used to talk, before she got married and became a mother. How we'd talk about the men father made me dance with, how we'd laugh about it. Now she thinks the same as everyone else does.

"Look, I know you Esme and I know you want a family. I don't know why you're postponing getting married like this, it's so not like you, and I have no idea where your idea of a perfect man ever came from either," she told me sounding concerned.

She was talking down to me. Everyone talked down to me. No one knew where my idea of a perfect man came from, but I did. 'Any man would be lucky to have you fall in love with him my dear' he had said. If only that were true. He was the perfect gentleman.

I sighed coming back to reality. "Okay, give the child back to me," Mary-Ann said standing up and holding her arms out for her baby.

I snuggled Alexis, "Don't ever change," I muttered against her hair as I kissed her head then handed her back to her mother.

"Esme," I heard my cousin Helen before I saw her, as you usually do with Helen. "Hiding from all the men I see," she said with a cheeky smile that was her smile. She was radiant in her wedding dress. Everything about her was glowing with happiness today. That's how I want to feel on my wedding day.

"We really need to find you a man," she told me. I groaned, "What is it with everyone today and setting me up?" I asked frustrated. "I don't know but it looks like the next one your father has lined up to meet you is rather handsome," she said excitedly.

I looked over to where she was looking and saw my father walking towards me with a man. He had to be several years my senior, dark brown hair, tall but not over six foot. He looked a little familiar. "Esme darling there you are, I've been looking for you. This is Charles Evenson, son of Richard Evenson," father told me. That's why he seemed familiar, he looked a great deal like his father but younger.

"It's wonderful to make your acquaintances Miss Platt," he said taking my hand and kissing it. Father gave me an expectant look. I couldn't be bothered with the fight that I would inevitably encounter later if I was rude to him so in an effort to please him and smiled politely, "The pleasure is mine, Mr Evenson," I replied.

Both the men in front of me seemed pleased enough with my response. "Mr Platt if it is alright with you I'd like to ask your daughter for a dance," Mr Evenson said rather confidently. "Of course you may," father told him. "Yes, of course," I replied although I wished I hadn't given the baby back to Mary-Ann so I could have gotten out of this, or at least tried.

Mr Evenson took my arm and led me over to the dance floor. I felt his hand on my back as he pulled me close to him to dance. Closer than I truly desired to be to him.

"You're being rather audacious aren't you Mr Evenson?" I asked. "Please Miss Platt call me Charles, and how could I resist being at least a little bold around you?" he asked.

"I will not call you Charles, and I don't appreciate boldness," I replied. "What is it you do appreciate then Miss Platt?" he asked. "Kindness, interest, compassion," I told him. "Well interested I certainly am," he told me.

There was something about him that wasn't like all the other men I'd been set up with today, maybe it was his big headedness but at least he had personality. He was confident and he knew what he wanted, whether that was me or just a partner though I was almost positive the answer was the latter.

"What is it you do Mr Evenson?" I asked. "I'm a business man," he told me. "Here in Columbus or out of town?" I asked. "Here in Columbus, which is convenient because it just happens to be where you reside," he replied as we swayed to the music.

"We've had one dance, isn't it a bit early to be saying something so-" he cut me off "Bold?" he said with a cocky smile raising his eyebrow.

"It's our first dance of many," he told me. "Don't be so sure," I replied. He laughed lightly, "I have a way of getting what I want Miss Platt," he told me. "And I'm what you want?" I asked. "At this instant yes my dear you are," he told me. "You can't always obtain what you desire," I reminded him. "I know that very well Miss Platt, but I think in this situation I will," he told me. "And you think all this from simply one dance?" I asked. "Ah but you see my dear, the music has changed, this is in fact our second dance," he pointed out. "Fine, two dances then," I corrected myself. "Two of many to come," he smiled confidently.

"You don't think that's overly confident?" I asked. "No on the contrary I feel as though it's the perfect amount of confidence, after all I am the first man you've danced two dances with today am I not?" he asked.

"How do you know how many times I've danced with men today?" I asked. "Forgive me Miss Platt but I've had my eye on you for a while. You've blossomed into quite the woman," he told me.

"You know no boundaries do you Mr Evenson?" I asked. "Please Charles," he insisted. "For the second time I will not call you Charles," I told him. "You will," he told me smiling that smug smile again.

"Is this supposed to be your idea of flirting with me Mr Evenson?" I asked. "Of course not, that would be improper," he smirked. I shook my head at him.

"Now if I may Miss Platt, why is it that you haven't yet married?" he asked. "It's not really your place to ask that question," I replied. "I said if I may," he pointed out.

"Alright fine, because I haven't found the person I want to marry yet," I told him. "Have you found him now?" Mr Evenson asked. "You really must learn social edict," I told him. He snickered, "I know social edict very well Miss Platt, at times I've even been called charming," he told me. "You're confident I'll give you that," I told him as the music ended.

"Well Miss Platt it seems our dance is over. I'm sure I'll see you again soon," he told me as he released me from his grip. "It was a pleasure to meet you," he said. "Likewise," I replied. He smiled and walked off towards the other side of the room.

"Hey Esme catch!" I heard Helen call to me. I turned and caught what she was throwing towards me out of reflex. "You're next!" she said cheekily as I realised what she had thrown and what I had caught was her bouquet.

"Helen!" I exclaimed. "Oh come on Esme, you've never danced two dances with a man in your life," she said. "Now tell us what he was like," Mary-Ann said appearing behind Helen.

That's the Mary-Ann that I know. "He was… confident," I told them. "I bet he was charming, was he charming?" Mary-Ann asked. "And funny was he funny?" Helen asked. "No, well I mean I guess he was sort of charming in an arrogant sort of way," I told them.

"Was he funny?" Helen asked again. "I don't know he was too busy being confident," I told them. "Well what do you mean by that? What did he say?" Mary-Ann asked. "Lots of things," I told them.

"Like…" Helen pushed. "Like this was the first of many dances we'll have," I told them. "Oh he's perfect for you Esme, smart, charming, confident, handsome," Helen gushed. "I don't know about perfect for me, and I mean he wasn't that handsome," I told her. Mary-Ann scoffed, "Well he wasn't harmful on the eyes," she said.

"Just think Esme, you could be Mrs Esme Evenson," Helen told me excited. "I think it's a bit too soon to be saying that don't you think?" I asked. "No I don't think so, not at all," Mary-Ann told me.

"Oh and you'll have your own family," Helen said smiling. "Why don't you two just worry about your own husbands and families and leave me to picking out my husband," I said amused at their excitement.

"Okay but I hear wedding bells," Helen said in a sing song voice. "Yes that's because you're at your wedding, go enjoy it. Bedside's I didn't even say I liked him," I told her. "Okay fine but you caught the bouquet," she said with a smile before disappearing.

"Do you like him?" Mary-Ann asked. "No, I'm not opposed to him-" she cut me off, "Well that's better than nothing," she said happily giving my arm a squeeze before going back over to her husband who was currently bouncing their daughter up and down on his hip.

That's what I wanted. I want to have a husband who cared about his children, who cares about me.

Someone like the doctor who had treated my broken leg all those years ago.

Someone who cared.

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><p>Hey guys hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review, favourite and follow and if you haven't reviewed my last chapter please do as always constructive criticism is welcome. Check out my tumblr account the link is in my profile and blah blah blah thanks for reading :)<p>

I'm hoping (Crosses fingers) that I will now be posting regularly on Mondays and Fridays.


	3. Growing Up

- Growing up -

_1917 _

"Esme really you need to take on more responsibility! All of your friends are already married some of them already with children Esme! You're twenty two years old," mother told me for what felt like the millionth time.

"Mother I'll get married when I'm ready to alright," I said clearing the plates from the table.

"Esme eventually you have to give up your childish thoughts and move on with your life," she said taking the plates from me. "Well what if I never want to get married," I said following her into the kitchen.

"That's absurd Esme," Father said as he entered the room behind us.

"It's not absurd, I could move west and take that teaching job," I pressed. Father scoffed, "You are not moving away alone, we've had this conversation Esme. That's no way for a young lady to live." Mother nodded in agreement, "Your father's right Esme," she told me.

"Well I can't live in this house with you forever," I pointed out. "Which is why you're going to get married," father told me.

"So you want me to marry someone I don't love?" I asked. "Maybe if you stop waiting for your insane idea of a perfect husband you'd be able to see that there is a perfectly good man waiting to marry you," mother said. I snorted, "Perfectly good man meaning Charles Evenson?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Esme a little respect please, and yes Charles Evenson, he's a perfectly respectable man and he's the son of a family friend so it's not like you don't know him," mother continued.

"There's nothing wrong with Mr Evenson it's just-" mother cut me off, "See, there's nothing wrong with him, and you know he's interested in you," she said as she started stacking the dishes. "I don't love him," I complained. "Maybe if you gave him a chance you would, now give me a hand with the dishes," she said. I

brought my hand down on the bench, "Why won't you take me seriously!" I exclaimed. "Esme!" father said firmly. I looked up at him.

"This is the end of this discussion. You are not moving west to teach by yourself and that's final. You need to come to terms with the fact that you are now at the age at which you have to settle down, be a grown women and put away childish things" he told me.

I looked between both my parents. "So this isn't a choice I get to make for myself?" I asked.

"Of course it is," mother told me.

"You can marry whoever you want to, although I do think that Charles if a great option," father told me.

That was just the thing, they gave me the allusion of having the choice to choose for myself who I wanted to marry but it wasn't true.

There was no way they would allow me to reject Charles Evenson.

"Just as long as I do get married right?" I asked.

My parents exchanged a glance that all the confirmation I needed.

* * *

><p>"So, what changed your mind about me?" Charles Evenson asked as we walked through the park.<p>

Honestly nothing had changed my mind, father 'encouraged' me to see him again.

"What makes you think I've changed my mind?" I asked. He only smiled and shook his head, "Never mind that." I felt his hand touch my arm and slid down to my hand. I jerked my hand away from his.

"Oh come now, it's just holding my hand," he said. "Hmf," I huffed.

Mr Evenson sat down in the shade under a tree and looked up at me expectantly. I hesitated. He wasn't unattractive, the shade from the tree was casting shadows over his dark brown eyes. Having said that he wasn't amazingly attractive either.

I smoothed my skirt beneath me as I sat down. I was very aware that anyone passing by would be watching us, for a young man and women should never be left alone while courting. Really it's just giving everyone a reason to stick their noses into everyone else's business.

He reached up and picked an apple from the tree, "Darling, you seem rather… tense," he told me before taking a bite of the fruit. "I'm fine," I replied. "Well then, what do you want to talk about?" Mr Evenson asked leaning back. I thought about that for a moment, "Do you like art?" I asked him.

He raised an eyebrow, "A bit more specific? Paintings, sculptures..." he trailed off expecting an answer.

"Just in general," I told him. "I suppose so, I haven't ever really taken the time to admire something that would be considered art," he replied before taking another bite of his apple.

"So you consider yourself busy then?" I asked. "Not too busy for the luxuries in life," he said eyeing me in a way that made me uncomfortable. It wasn't like he was admiring me but as though he was evaluating me. I shifted feeling unsettled.

"Something wrong?" he asked. I rubbed my arms as if I was cold, "It's just a bit chilly," I replied. He nodded taking another bite from the apple and throwing the core on the ground. I eyed it for a moment before bringing my gaze back to him.

Undoubtedly giving me his jacket had never crossed his mind.

"You know Esme-" I swiftly cut him off, "Miss Platt," I corrected. "Come now, have we not reached first name basis yet?" he asked. "Well I guess it depends what you think first named basis means," I replied. "Friends?" he suggested with a smirk playing at his lips.

Friends? Hardly. I let out a deep breath, "Alright, Mr Even-" he cut me off this time, "Charles," he corrected. "Charles," I said hesitantly.

"Now Esme, what is your opinion on marriage?" he asked. "Do you find that an appropriate question to ask me Mr Ev- Charles?" I asked. "As a friend of course," he said flashing a smile.

"Now Charles are you trying to tell me that being friends is truly your intentions?" I asked. "What do you think my intentions are then?" he asked.

"Based on your actions from the wedding? Courtship," I replied. "So I'm courting you am I?" he asked. "I never said that, I said that courtship was your intentions," I told him.

He had a way of twisting everything that I said into something else, and everything he said into something else.

"You've got me there, but can you tell me that you are not going into this relationship in hopes of courtship?" he asked.

"Who said this was a relationship?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Friendship is a relationship Esme, but you didn't answer my question," he pressed.

I blew a piece of hair out my face, "Honestly Charles, I don't want to play games," I told him.

"Neither do I dear Esme, although I do wish to point out that when you accepted to go out on this little outing of ours, did you not in some way agree to let me court you?" he asked.

"By a social standard maybe," I allowed. "So we are in fact courting?" he asked. I let out a breath in defeat, "Alright, I suppose we are," I admitted.

It was hard not to agree with him in the end, he twisted the words I spoke around in so many different ways. He smiled obviously satisfied with my answer.

"Well if we are in fact courting, then may I be so privileged to steal a kiss?" he asked. "Don't you think that's pushing it?" I asked. "Just a quick one on the cheek," he replied.

"You really don't care for social edict do you?" I asked. "Only when it works in my favour," he told her. "You really should get used to not having everything go your way," I told him.

"Why should I when it always does," he asked smirking. I shook my head at him. "Oh come now," he said.

I hesitated, leaving my eyes shut for a second longer when I blinked before leaning forward. Charles pecked my check lightly and I leant back as fast as I could without being rude before he got any other ideas.

"See, that wasn't so bad," he said with a cocky smile. "Now what were we talking about?" he asked.

"Not the slightest clue," I replied mostly because I couldn't be bothered heading back down the conversational maze Charles seems to get me into.

"Ah, marriage. Well Esme do you want to be married?" he asked. "Of course," I told him. "Soon?" he asked.

"Specifics don't bother me. I just know that one day I would like to get married and have a family of my own," I replied.

"Ah that's right, you're fond of children," he said. "Are you not?" I asked. "I haven't a particular liking to them but I would like to have them," he told me.

I suppose that was good enough. I supposed good enough is going to have to be just that with Charles, good enough.

"Alright new topic, what are you doing tomorrow?" he asked. "Are you asking me out again?" I asked. "I might be," he said grinning.

I didn't find him all that appealing in all honesty. He wasn't anything special to me. He wasn't the person that I had envisioned me ending up with at all, but maybe that was because that person had already been and gone.

Charles did indeed end up asking me out again and he chose to do so in front of my parents which meant I didn't have the chance to say no.

The whole thing made me feel like a child who had to be supervised every moment of the day.

I hated the lack of independence I was given.

No, there wasn't anything wrong with Charles, it was just he wasn't what I had always dreamed of because I had always dreamed of the perfect man. He was flawed. He was the perfect gentleman, but he kept my parents off my back for the time being.

I knew that my parents thought of this as an opportunity to finally marry me off, but I still felt the same about that, I want to marry when I'm ready not when someone else tells me too, although I'm afraid to everyone else there is no difference between when I'm ready and when I should be ready after all.

I'm sure that if Charles asked me to marry him there is no way my parents would allow me to say no, and so courting with him was almost like a trap, but then again maybe my parents were right, maybe I had reached the age of which the child is grown and puts away childish things.

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><p>Yay writing at 12 am because I didn't get it done -_- Anyways thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it as always favourite, follow, and review constructive criticism is always welcome. If you have a moment also could you please check out the links if my profile that'd be cool thanks :)<p> 


	4. Engaging In Important Events

Chapter Four

- Engaging In Important Events -

_1917_

"He is quite a catch isn't he," mother said looking over to where my father and Charles were talking.

"I suppose," I replied. Both men both looked very invested in the conversation they were having.

"I wonder what they're talking about," I thought out loud. "Men's business," mother brushed it off turning back to me.

"So, what do you think of him?" she asked. "He's got good prospects I'll give him that," I said.

"Well I think he's quite interested in you," she told me with a smile.

"Yes, it does seem that way."

"I'm so glad you're finally growing up Esme," mother gushed.

I nodded glancing suspiciously over at my father and Charles who were still talking in the corner.

Charles looked over at me at the same moment father did and I knew they were talking about me.

They turned back to each other and Charles shook father's hand before coming over to me, "Would you like to go for a walk?" he asked.

I looked at mother and she smiled approvingly. "Sure," I said getting up off the couch. "We won't be long," Charles said taking my arm.

I grabbed my coat off the rack feeling the cold air blow in from outside.

It was almost completely dark outside, but still enough light to see by. I pulled my jacket on as we started to walk away from the house.

"What were you talking to father about?" I asked.

"You."

"Yes I gathered that," I replied.

"Was it that obvious?" he asked.

"At times," I told him.

"Well my dear how could I not, I mean we have been spending a bit of time together lately and we have been getting along well," he said.

"Yes we have," I agreed. He glanced behind him, "We better not go far from the house," he said slowing to a stop. I stopped beside him and he turned to face me.

Before I even realised what he was doing he pulled me in and pressed his lips against mine. I responded gently to his rough lips. Kissing him like this felt wrong.

When he pulled away he smiled at me and took my hand. "Esme darling I feel it is time for me to settle down, and who better to do that with than you," he told me as he pulled out a ring.

There was a lump in my throat I couldn't swallow. I froze.

"Esme Anne Platt will you be my wife?" he asked. I blinked at him.

"Yes," fell hesitantly from my lips. Charles smiled and slipped the ring onto my finger.

Part of me was screaming that I didn't want to marry him but another part of me knew that it would please my parent's.

He wasn't bad, I wasn't against marrying him. His hand was on the small of my back pressing his lips against mine again in a way that was almost improper.

"Is this what you were talking to father about?" I asked. "Yes, I asked him for your hand before proposing of course," he told me.

I half smiled, "Of course," I told him. "Come on, we should head back and share the good news," he said.

* * *

><p>This is a good thing.<p>

A very very good thing Esme, don't you dare freak out.

"Open your eyes dear Esme, you look beautiful," my cousin Helen told me. I didn't know if I could. I took a deep shaky breath and opened my eyes.

In the mirror I saw myself standing in a white lace dress with sleeves.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

"See, I don't know the problem was, you look wonderful," Mary-Ann told me.

I ran my hands over the fabric at my hips. It fit well.

I turned to the side to look over my shoulder at the back of my dress. It made me look mature. Like a women.

Maybe it is that growing up is not so much about becoming a whole new person entirely, rather it's about swapping your childish illusions for adult ones.

Maybe it wasn't so much about becoming this perfect, ideal women as it was about being the illusion of an ideal, perfect women.

I don't think I'll ever grow up, if growing up means that climbing a tree won't be appealing anymore.

I'll get older, I'll marry, I'll have children, I'll get older, but I'll never grow up. In my heart I'll always be the same girl I was. Just older.

"Come on, let's do your hair," mother said pulling me away from the mirror and into a chair in front of a vanity. She started brushing my hair.

I watched as she brushed it out in the mirror. It was soothing somehow, calming my nerves. I met my mother's eye in the mirror and she gave me a loving smile.

She put down the brush and gave my shoulders a squeeze. She resumed brushing my hair and put it up into a bun carefully placing the pins.

Mother smiled when she was done, "You look wonderful," she told me. "Thank you," I said getting up out of my chair.

Abruptly she pulled me into a hug. I smiled and hugged her back. After a moment she pulled away, "Come on you don't want to be late," she told me.

My mother and the rest of my bridal party left to go sit down while my father took me from the back room of the church where I was getting ready to the front of the church to wait for my cue to walk down the aisle.

I looked down the aisle and saw Charles standing there waiting for me. It was a wonder I didn't have a panic attack right then and there.

I took a deep breath taking my father's arm.

The music started and I began to walk down the aisle.

As I looked at my soon to be husband whose eyes weren't quite focused just on me and I felt…

Nothing.

I wasn't happy, or sad, just nothing.

The ceremony went on fine, nothing bad happened.

I repeated the vows as did Charles, we exchanged the rings and when the time came we kissed for the first time as husband and wife.

The reception was nice.

Hugs and well wishes from friends and family.

I threw the bouquet and one of my younger cousins caught it and soon the wedding was over and I was in Charles's car.

We pulled up outside the house and Charles got out of the car.

I followed him inside. It was a nice house. Charles walked into a room and I followed him there.

He set down my bags and turned to me. Before I even knew he was doing it his lips were pressed against mine.

I froze.

When he felt me not cooperating with him he pulled away. "Esme you do realise that you are my wife now," he said. "Of course," I replied shakily. "And that means that you must now act as a wife should," he told me.

I opened my mouth to reply but again Charles crushed his lips roughly against mine.

I panicked and froze again.

This time there was something in his eyes when he pulled away.

He was angry.

Did he think I was rejecting him?

Could he not see the terror in my eyes?

I felt a blow to the right side of my head and I let out a surprised gasp.

"How dare you," he said angrily, stepping towards me as I had stumbled back a step.

I felt his arms wrap around me tightly. He was stronger than me by far.

I struggled in his arms.

I cried for him to leave me alone.

I asked for mercy from every blow that he threw at me.

I fought until I couldn't anymore and I was forced to face the fact that the man that I married had before my own eyes turned into a complete nightmare.

A monster.

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><p><em>Please favourite, follow and review. This chapter was particularly hard to write. I wanted to get the balance right with what I wanted to show you and what I wanted to leave up to imagination. Let me know what you think. <em>


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